{"title":"Emotionally Inconvenient","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"digital-product-5","title":"This Card Is Your Gift Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis card is the gift.\u003cbr\u003eNo flowers. No poetry. Just honesty — and that’s rare.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA modern sarcastic card for people who skip the clichés and say what they mean. Download instantly, print at home, and give a card that delivers honesty instead of romance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003epartners \u003cbr\u003espouses\u003cbr\u003eanyone who appreciates dry humor over forced romance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 printable card design (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50431544590584,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/This_Card_Is_Your_Gift_mockup_4.jpg?v=1788471592"},{"product_id":"digital-product-6","title":"I Love You... Unfortunately Card","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eLove, but it's deeply inconvenient.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis sarcastic relationship card is perfect for couples who communicate through dry humor, eye contact, and mutual annoyance. It’s not soft. It’s honest. And somehow, still affectionate.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops).\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003ePartners with a sense of humor\u003cbr\u003eSituationships that refuse to be labeled\u003cbr\u003eAnyone who finds romance mildly suspicious\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 printable card design (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50431694045432,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/I_Love_You_Unfortunately_mockup_818fa9b7-244f-4062-9807-b29c30a397d6.jpg?v=1788474060"},{"product_id":"digital-product-7","title":"I Don't Do Love Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eI don’t do love.\u003cbr\u003eI do sarcasm, loyalty, and showing up when it matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic relationship card is for people who value actions over clichés and honesty over romance-movie nonsense. Dry, direct, and unapologetically real.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for partners who appreciate boundaries, dark humor, and commitment without the theatrics.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 printable card design (5×7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50432082510072,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/I_Dont_Do_Love_mockup_4.jpg?v=1788476306"},{"product_id":"digital-product-8","title":"You're Not My Soulmate Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou’re not my soulmate.\u003cbr\u003eThat sounds exhausting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic card is for people who choose each other intentionally — not because of fate, destiny, or a personality test. Honest, dry, and quietly romantic in a very real way.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInside message:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat sounds exhausting.\u003cbr\u003eYou’re just someone I choose\u003cbr\u003edespite knowing better.\u003cbr\u003eThat’s stronger.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for partners who value choice over fairytales and humor over clichés\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 printable card design (5×7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50432437944568,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/You_reNotMySoulmatemockup_5.png?v=1788487029"},{"product_id":"digital-product-9","title":"You're My Person Relax Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor when affection exists… but we’re keeping expectations reasonable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic printable card is perfect for the person who somehow survived your personality and still stuck around. Not a fairytale. Just sarcasm, snacks, selective listening… and mild emotional acknowledgment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIdeal for situationships, long-term partners, best friends, or anyone who understands that romance is better with a little sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect For\u003cbr\u003e• Situationships that somehow became permanent\u003cbr\u003e• Partners who appreciate sarcasm over poetry\u003cbr\u003e• Friends who know this is basically your version of saying “I care”\u003cbr\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable cards (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50439318339832,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/YoureMyPersonRelaxmockup.jpg?v=1788543299"},{"product_id":"digital-product-10","title":"I Could've Chosen Peace Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the relationship that thrives on chaos and mutual understanding.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic printable card says what everyone’s thinking but no one wants to admit out loud. Not romantic. Just honest. Dry, direct, and just the right amount of emotionally reckless.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e• Partners with a sense of humor\u003cbr\u003e• Situationships that refuse to be labeled\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who knows peace was an option… and ignored it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50439418806520,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/I_Couldve_Chosen_Peace_mockup_4.jpg?v=1788545509"},{"product_id":"digital-product-12","title":"Love is Patient Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eLove is patient.\u003cbr\u003eWhich explains why you’re still here dealing with me.\u003cbr\u003eRespect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic card is for relationships built on tolerance, dry humor, and mutual understanding.\u003cbr\u003eMinimal, honest, and just self-aware enough to land exactly how it should.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e• Long-term relationships that survived personality\u003cbr\u003e• Partners who communicate through sarcasm\u003cbr\u003e• Marriages built on patience and side-eyes\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who knows love isn’t soft — it’s commitment with commentaryr.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448329900280,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/Love_Is_Patient_mockup_4.jpg?v=1788642057"},{"product_id":"digital-product-13","title":"Legally This Means Nothing Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou’re my Valentine. Legally, this means nothing.\u003cbr\u003eBut emotionally? You’ve seen too much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic Valentine’s Day card is for couples who understand that commitment isn’t about paperwork — it’s about shared chaos, inside jokes, and no realistic exit plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for long-term partners, situationships that went too far, or anyone who appreciates dry humor over grand gestures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable cards (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448343040248,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/Legallythismeansnothingmockup.jpg?v=1788642947"},{"product_id":"digital-product-14","title":"You're My Valentine Relax Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eAffection, but low pressure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic Valentine’s Day card is perfect for couples who don’t need grand gestures to prove anything. Calm. Minimal. Slightly dismissive. Just how love should be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448421224696,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/YoureMyValentineRelaxmockup.jpg?v=1788645168"},{"product_id":"digital-product-15","title":"So... Valentines Day Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor when it’s complicated and nobody’s pretending otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis funny Valentine’s Day card is ideal for situationships, undefined relationships, or anyone who acknowledges the holiday without committing emotionally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448438755576,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/So_Valentine_s_Day_Valentine_mockup_4.jpg?v=1788646012"},{"product_id":"digital-product-16","title":"Self Love Valentine Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eBecause you showed up. Again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis self-love Valentine’s Day card is for anyone choosing themselves, their peace, and their snacks. No romance required. Just self-respect and a printer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448459727096,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/HappyValentinesDaymockup.jpg?v=1788646581"},{"product_id":"digital-product-17","title":"Lower Your Expectations Valentine Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eA love story, but realistic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic Valentine’s Day card is for people who skipped the fairytale and chose honesty instead. Perfect for partners who appreciate humor, boundaries, and managing expectations from the start.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448499245304,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/Lower_your_expectations_V-Day_mockup.jpg?v=1788647962"},{"product_id":"digital-product-18","title":"I Like You Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor when feelings exist… but we’re keeping things calm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic printable card is perfect for the person you like, but would prefer not to turn into a full emotional production. Honest, slightly awkward, and just self-aware enough to be funny.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIdeal for partners, situationships, close friends, or anyone who understands that affection doesn’t always need a dramatic speech.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes the most sincere thing you can say is:\u003cbr\u003eI acknowledged it. Please remain normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect For\u003cbr\u003e• Situationships that somehow became permanent\u003cbr\u003e• Partners who appreciate sarcasm over romance\u003cbr\u003e• Friends who understand your emotional boundaries\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who knows that acknowledging feelings is already a lot\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448562422008,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/ILikeYoumockup.jpg?v=1788650435"},{"product_id":"digital-product-19","title":"So... Our Anniversary Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSo… our anniversary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe’re not defining anything.\u003cbr\u003eWe’re not posting anything.\u003cbr\u003eBut this felt like something.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic card is for relationships that exist somewhere between “this is nothing” and “this is definitely something.”\u003cbr\u003eMinimal, dry, and just self-aware enough to acknowledge the moment… without turning it into a conversation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt says what neither of you were planning to say.\u003cbr\u003eAnd then immediately backs away from it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e• Situationships that somehow lasted long enough to count\u003cbr\u003e• Undefined relationships with selective acknowledgment\u003cbr\u003e• People who feel things but refuse to label them\u003cbr\u003e• Partners who will absolutely make it weird if given the chance\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable cards (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448580575480,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/So_OURAnniversarymockup.jpg?v=1788652614"},{"product_id":"digital-product-20","title":"So... Your Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eSo… your birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot a big emotional speech.\u003cbr\u003eNot a social media post.\u003cbr\u003eJust an acknowledgement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic birthday card is perfect for situationships, undefined relationships, or anyone who prefers dry humor over dramatic birthday energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMinimal effort. Maximum honesty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e• Situationships that refuse to define anything\u003cbr\u003e• People who acknowledge birthdays without making it a whole production\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who communicates primarily through sarcasm\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448589291768,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/So_YourBirthdaymockup.jpg?v=1788653121"},{"product_id":"digital-product-21","title":"Lower Your Expectations Birthday Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eHappy Birthday.\u003cbr\u003eLower your expectations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic birthday card is for people who prefer honesty over effort.\u003cbr\u003eMinimal, dry, and just self-aware enough to say what everyone’s thinking… but no one’s putting in a card.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt doesn’t try to be sweet.\u003cbr\u003eIt doesn’t try to impress.\u003cbr\u003eIt just shows up… and sets the tone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect for:\u003cbr\u003e• Friends who appreciate brutal honesty\u003cbr\u003e• Partners who already know what this is\u003cbr\u003e• Birthdays where effort feels optional\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who’d rather laugh than pretend\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448671146232,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/Lower_your_expectations_b-day_mockup_4.jpg?v=1788656726"},{"product_id":"digital-product-22","title":"I Don’t Do Boyfriends Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor when romance isn’t really the plan… but someone earned partial privileges.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sarcastic printable card is perfect for situationships, awkward relationships, or the rare person who managed to pass the extremely low bar of approval.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot a love confession.\u003cbr\u003eJust a reluctant upgrade to movie night status.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIdeal for partners, crushes, situationships, or anyone who understands that romance sometimes starts with bug removal and snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePerfect For\u003cbr\u003e• Situationships with extremely low expectations\u003cbr\u003e• People who earn affection through practical acts\u003cbr\u003e• Partners who appreciate sarcasm more than romance\u003cbr\u003e• Anyone who knows popcorn sharing is a serious commitment\u003cbr\u003eIncludes both a light version (best for home printing) and a dark version (best for professional print shops) so you can print the one that fits the mood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWHAT’S INCLUDED\u003cbr\u003e1 sarcastic printable card (5x7 folded)\u003cbr\u003eLight + dark versions included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLight: best for home printing\u003cbr\u003eDark: best for print shops\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePrint-ready High-resolution PDFs (300 DPI)\u003cbr\u003eInstant digital download\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDigital file only.\u003cbr\u003eNo physical items will be shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePRINTING OPTIONS\u003cbr\u003eLight card: Print at home on standard paper for a quick option, or use heavy cardstock (recommended) for a sturdier, polished look. For best results, choose matte cardstock between 80–110 lb cardstock for a clean, professional finish.\u003cbr\u003eDark card: Print through a local print shop, or online printing service.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e⚠️ IMPORTANT NOTES\u003cbr\u003eColors may vary by printer and screen settings.\u003cbr\u003ePersonal use only\u003cbr\u003eDigital items are non-refundable\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"HotMessLife","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50448801890552,"sku":null,"price":6.49,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0849\/4655\/1032\/files\/IDon_tDoBoyfriendsmockup.jpg?v=1788657599"}],"url":"https:\/\/hotmesslife.com\/collections\/emotionally-inconvenient.oembed","provider":"HotMessLife","version":"1.0","type":"link"}